Attack of theWhat the Heck ARE Those Things?
by wolf-howl91
Summary: Robotnik has made some new robots, and Amy and Knuckles have to face their wrath...or something. Requested by kidknux.


Aha. Yes. This was a request from kidknux, and I think I fulfilled it quite well? Hopefully, anyway.

And even though no one cares, my laptop gave me an endless amount of grief while I was writing this. During the Amy bit, I had thick black lines outlining each paragraph, and I didn't know how to get rid of them. They're not there on the website, but I can't make them go away on my saved version on my laptop. Sorry, just felt the need to go "AHH"

I'm done now.

---

Knuckles was sitting alone on Angel Island, perfectly content. No one was bothering him and the Emerald, and he and the Emerald weren't bothering anyone. Life was sweet.

Knuckles stretched his arms over his head, and glanced over to the right. The Emerald was glowing along glowingly, and he smiled. He crossed his arms behind his head and lay back down onto the moss covered boulder he was sitting on. He closed his eyes for a moment, and smiled as he felt the sun warm the skin on his belly.

Then, there was a noise. Knuckles had no idea what this noise meant. It sounded like a very special and individual unique snowflake falling to the ground. Whatever the hell it was, Knuckles didn't like. He opened his eyes and jumped up. "Who's there?" He called.

Some...THING popped up in front of him. It was about his height, and sorta looked like him—it had dreadlocks, but it also had spikes like Sonic had on top of it's head, and it was coloured fuchsia. With neon green highlights.

"Oh my God, hi!" It squealed at him. "I'm so happy to be here!"

"Who are you, and why are you in my island?" Knuckles demanded, shifting his weight into a fighting stance.

The thing flipped it's hair over it's shoulder. "I was sent here to, like, help you guard the Master Emerald!"

"I don't need any help. Go away."

"What?" The thing stamped it's foot, and made a hideous face. Knuckles blinked, and squinted his eyes. Maybe the thing was in pain? The thing stuck it's lips out farther. Knuckles realized that it was attempting to do a cute pout.

"Please let me help you..." The thing made an even worse face, and Knuckles couldn't hide a shudder. Looking slightly to the left of the thing, he said, "I don't even know what you ARE."

The thing giggled. "Oh, silly me! I forgot to introduce myself!" The thing clapped it's hands. "My name is Sonica Knuckleru, and I'm half hedgehog and half echidna! I was assigned a task at birth, and the task was to help you protect the Master Emerald!"

"Hedgehogs and echidnas can't interbreed."

"What?" The thing (which Knuckles realized, was supposed to be a girl) blinked in what she obviously thought was a cute fashion.

"Hedgehogs and echidnas can't breed together. They're not part of the same genus." Knuckles crossed his arms. "And besides, there's only one guardian of the Emerald at a time. You couldn't have been assigned to help me, that's not how it works."

"But, but, but I so totally was! You and I are meant to live together, and we'll guard the Emerald side by side forever and ever!" Sonica Knuckleru argued. "We'll have to fight the baddies together, and then we'll fall in love and live together with our children forever!"

"...We'll what?"

"Fall in love!" She chirped.

"...No." Knuckles crossed his arms and stared at her with one eyebrow raised. "Not even remotely."

"Huh?" She was jerked out of her fantasizing. "But we have too! Our love is written in the stars!"

"And besides, I don't think we could have children. If you really ARE half hedgehog and half echidna, you're probably like a mule." Knuckles rubbed his chin. "It makes sense."

"How dare you compare such an innocent flower such as myself to such a horrible animal!" Sonica Knuckleru crossed her arms and stamped her foot again. "How rude!"

"I like mules. They carry things."

Sonica Knuckleru growled and stamped her foot again. This time however, her foot hit a rock, and it snapped off.

"That probably shouldn't happen." Knuckles said, looking at the place where there was once a foot, and now there was some wires and other forms of circuitry hanging out.

A nearby boulder made an angry noise. Knuckles looked over, and so did the robot. "Who's there?" He yelled.

Dr. Robotnik flew out from behind the boulder, shaking his fist. "How did you break her? I worked so hard on her!"

"What is she?" Knuckles asked as Robotnik flew to the robot and examined what used to be a foot. He figured that as soon as Robotnik started acting like he would steal the Emerald, he would handle it. So far, the robot Robotnik had come up didn't really seem menacing.

"It's a Massively Annoying Robot You Should Use to Entertain! In short, a M.A.R.Y. S.U.E.." Robotnik yelled over his shoulder as Sonica Knuckleru began to cry with huge tears that made everything around her wet.

"You ruined me!" She wailed. "Since my only true love now knows that I am a robot, our love can never be! I must go into exile, and be forever alone! Once Knuckles realizes that I am the only one who could ever make him happy--" Here she paused, and opened one eye to sneak a look at Knuckles.

Knuckles crossed his arms and smirked. The M.A.R.Y. S.U.E. wailed even louder. "Then my true love will come and find me once more!" She put her arms straight up in the air, and a rocket came out of her remaining shoe and she began to blast off. "Goodbye my love!" She called over her shoulder, tears streaming majestically down her face.

Knuckles was looking at Robotnik, who was floating in his flying-robo-thing holding a wrench. "Why did you give it tear ducts?"

"In order to gain your sympathy."

"Ah. Didn't work."

"I can see that, you fool!" Robotnik straightened his spine. "However, this isn't the only robot I unleashed onto the world! On the planets surface, there is another one, scheming to win the heart of another one of you pitiful animals..."

The M.A.R.Y. S.U.E., seeing that no one was paying attention to her any more, cried even louder and flew away to waste away in a hole somewhere, or something. I don't care.

Knuckles frowned. "There's another one of these things out there? Who did you send it to?"

"Ba ha ha ha ha! I will never tell you, you fool!" Robotnik laughed in what he thought was a menacing manner, and then Knuckles grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down roughly.

"Who did you send it to?" He asked again, his grip slowly getting tighter.

"Amy. Definitely Amy." Robotnik nodded. "Don't rip my head off."

"I might rip your head off, I might not. It all depends on whether or not Amy is okay." Knuckles let go of Robotnik's shirt, and grabbed onto his wrist. When Robotnik struggled, Knuckles glared at him. "You're coming."

"What? This is an outrage! How dare you, you, you....Okay, I'll be good."

---

All Amy wanted to do was go to the store, honestly. She was thinking that maybe she would just go and get some milk, Fritos, and ketchup. That was the only reason she had left the house today.

So, of course, there would be some weird guy hanging outside of her house, desperately trying to come off as being cool and better than Sonic (which he SO wasn't).

"Listen, uh, Wind Blade, was it? Wind Blade, I'm never going to fall in love with you, or think you're a dangerous rebel, so leave me alone, alright?" Amy crossed her arms and stared at him.

He looked exactly like Sonic, except for two things. One—he wasn't blue. He was black, with orange highlights, in the same fashion as Shadow. Two—he had a long scar going across his face, going through one eye. Amy supposed that it was supposed to make him look dangerous. It didn't.

"Ah, stupid Amy. Even if you did fall in love with me..." Wind Blade sighed and took off a pair of sunglasses he was wearing for some reason—Amy didn't really understand why, because the day was pretty gray and cloudy, but who was she to judge. "I would never be able to love you back. For you see, I've been charged with--"

"A secret dangerous mission, yeah yeah, you told me." Amy started tapping her foot in impatience. "Look, I want to go to the store. If you're just going to keep telling me that I'll never be able to love you because your soul is a dark black abyss of pain or some garbage like that, I'm just going to go."

"Fine! Leave! Do whatever you want! I should have known that you would have left me in the end, everybody else does..." Wind Blade was very angry, then very sad. It seemed like he had some deep dark secret that he didn't want to share, unless he found some kind hearted girl that was meant for him and him alone. Amy was not that girl.

"Alright, goodbye. You had better not be there when I come back." Amy told him as she started walking around him.

"What? You're leaving?" Wind Blade looked up. "You know you can't keep going back to him, not while we have this thing between us."

"Go back to WHO?" Amy yelled, losing her patience. "AND WHAT 'THING' ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Wind Blade rolled his eyes. "Obviously, I'm talking about Sonic. You can't pretend to still love him knowing how you feel about me. It's just not honest, and I won't have you treat my best friend as such."

Amy's eye twitched. "How are YOU best friends with my Sonic?"

"We've been friends for years, and you have always had a bit of a crush on me. However, since I was charged with a dangerous mission at birth, I couldn't give you the love you deserved. However, now that you know how I feel about you, you can't go back to Sonic. You will have to come with me and probably die on my mission." Wind Blade nodded. "Yes, you will die. Most likely in my arms, although you could be tortured by one of my many enemies, and I would not find out for a while."

"...What." It was not a question.

"Oh Amy, can't you see?" Wind Blade grasped her hands and pulled the two hedgehogs closer together. "We just can't be together!"

Amy pulled her hands away. "Okay, yeah, no. We can't be together, but not because of what your thinking. Sonic is the only guy for me, and he and I will get married, and die together."

"How can you still pretend to love Sonic, when I'm so obviously better?" Wind Blade closed his eyes and shook his head. It was a mistake closing his eyes, because he didn't see Amy's hammer descending on his head.

The impact between hammer and head caused the robot to break open, and Amy observed the exposed circuits and wiring with awe. "Huh. Lookie there."

Okay, maybe not awe.

"Amy?" Amy looked around and saw Knuckles dragging Dr. Robotnik by his wrist.

"Oh. Hi Knuckles. What's Robotnik doing with you?"

"There was an incident involving a M.A.R.Y. S.U.E., and he said he had sent one your way. I take it the mashed robot was it?" Knuckles indicated the remains of Wind Blade.

"If a M.A.R.Y. S.U.E.'s a really annoying robot, then yes." Amy prodded the pile of junk before her with her hammer.

"Bah, stupid fools. That was not a M.A.R.Y. S.U.E.-- It was a Greatly Annoying Robot You Trade for a Unicycle, or a G.A.R.Y. S.T.U.." Robotnik muttered under his breath.

"Quiet you."

"...Fine."


End file.
